Time to mature

The Parasha in our everyday life – Parashat Chayei Sara 5783

Rabbi Eliezer Shenvald - Head of the Hesder Yeshiva 'Meir Harel' Modiin

Among the central issues at the center of public discourse and raised in the recent elections were the relationship between 'religion and the state' and the Jewish identity of the state. More specifically, the relationship between the policies of the state representative bodies and Jewish tradition and heritage. These issues were highlighted in the discourse between the parties and in the election campaign. On the one hand, there was a group of parties that emphasized these issues and placed them in the forefront of their campaign, and on the other hand, there were parties that emphasized the opposite, namely the need to adopt liberal, universal, Western values, for which the State of Israel should be a "state for all its citizens." There were even parties that waged a campaign of blackmail and intimidation against the danger of turning the country into a 'halachic state' and against 'religious coercion'. In the middle were parties that cared about Jewish identity but did not see fit to put it at the forefront of their campaign, preferring to emphasize other issues.

The public had its say, supported the parties that focused on preserving the country's Jewish identity, and gave them the majority of votes.

Placing this question at the center of discourse and elections reflects the "maturity" of the state and society in Israel. Like the individual, society goes through development processes from “childhood” to “maturity”. This year we celebrate 75 years of independence. The country is in the middle of its "Decade of strength” שְׁמֹנִ'ם לַגְּבוּרָה - the eighth decade of its existence. The country has come a long way since its inception. Four generations since the early days. The first decades of its existence were the years of birth and maturity, which naturally focused on establishing the country's security and economic existence, building up the country, absorbing new immigrants, creating infrastructure and everything that is essential and necessary to the new Country. What motivated and united everyone was the joy of renewal and the need to preserve national existence. It developed at an unprecedented speed. The maturity phase involved questioning and challenging basic assumptions. Now the State of Israel and Israeli society have achieved ‘strength’ גְּבוּרָות and ‘maturity’ בגרות.

While not all existential threats have been eliminated, some have even intensified in unprecedented ways, and there are still economic and social challenges that need resolution, Israeli society feels 'mature' and 'ready' and has 'self-confidence' in its existence. Now it wants to ask questions about its essence, its uniqueness and its destiny as a Jewish state. How is it different from all others? What is the value and cultural justification of its existence, and where should it lead? This is a phase that requires an in-depth look at everything that will give meaning to the country's national existence from now on. The election results reflect the decision of the overwhelming majority of the Jewish population and the general public. Those who are interested in seeing the State of Israel as a country in which Jewish identity occupies a central place and determines its destiny. Among them is a large traditional public for whom Jewish identity is not in the full religious sense of the word. However, we still have a long way to go in cultivating and deepening identity.

The concern for the preservation of Jewish identity is not new. It has accompanied the existence of the nation for generations. In our Parasha, we read about Yitzchak, our father, who has come of age and Abraham asks to find him a wife. The phase of choosing a spouse involves questions of identity and the destiny of the family that is to be established. Abraham wants to be sure that the wife will support Yitzchak in the development of Jewish faith and identity, so he commanded Eliezer his servant:

וְאַשְׁבִּ֣יעֲךָ֔ בַּֽה' אֱלֹקי הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וֵֽאלֹקי הָאָ֑רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֨ר לֹֽא־תִקַּ֤ח אִשָּׁה֙ לִבְנִ֔י מִבְּנוֹת֙ הַֽכְּנַעֲנִ֔י אֲשֶׁ֥ר אָנֹכִ֖י יוֹשֵׁ֥ב בְּקִרְבּֽוֹ׃ כִּ֧י אֶל־אַרְצִ֛י וְאֶל־מוֹלַדְתִּ֖י תֵּלֵ֑ךְ וְלָקַחְתָּ֥ אִשָּׁ֖ה לִבְנִ֥י לְיִצְחָֽק... וְאִם־לֹ֨א תֹאבֶ֤ה הָֽאִשָּׁה֙ לָלֶ֣כֶת אַחֲרֶ֔יךָ וְנִקִּ֕יתָ מִשְּׁבֻעָתִ֖י זֹ֑את רַ֣ק אֶת־בְּנִ֔י לֹ֥א תָשֵׁ֖ב שָֽׁמָּה׃

“And I will make you swear by Hashem, the G-d of heaven and the G-d of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell, but will go to the land of my birth and get a wife for my son Yitzchak… And if the woman does not consent to follow you, you shall then be clear of this oath to me; but do not take my son back there.” (Bereshit 24:3-8)

This is a fateful choice that will affect generations. And therefore:

"הזהירו בשבועה שלא יקח אישה לבנו מבנות כנען ... וכמו שידוע מענין שלמה ע"ה בנשים נוכריות שנשא עמוניות מואביות צידוניות חיתיות, שהעיד עליו הכתוב (מלכים א יא, ד) נשיו הטו את לבבו, ועל כן הוקבע בישראל מנהג לקרוא פרשה זו לחתן … ביום חתונתו. להזכיר העם שיזהר בנשואיו, ושלא יקח אישה לשם יופי… ולא לשם ממון … אבל יצטרך שתהיה כוונתו לשם שמים ושידבק במשפחה הגונה, לפי שהבנים נמשכים במדותיהם בטבע אחר משפחת האם" (רבנו בחיי שם).

“He warned Eliezer not to take a wife from a nation which was cursed. When a woman is predestined for destruction, she is apt to drag her husband in the same general direction. This is precisely what … happened to Solomon who married a number of alien women (Kings I 11,1). The prophet testifies there that it was these women who turned his heart from being completely loyal to G-d. This is the reason that it has become the custom of the Jewish people to read this portion (in the presence of the assembled guests) to a bridegroom on the day when he gets married to remind all the people to be very circumspect in their choice of life-partners. The groom is reminded not to marry a woman because of her physical beauty… He should also not marry a woman because she is wealthy… The guiding considerations when choosing a wife have to be reverence for G-d, choosing a family which enjoys a good reputation. Seeing that in the majority of cases the daughter‘s character is similar to that of her brothers, one may form some idea about a girl by observing the way her older brothers conduct themselves”. (Rabbeinu Bahya ibid)