Tractate Kiddushin Ke'Dat Moshe Ve'Israel (According to the Torah of Moshe Rabbeinu and of the nation of Israel)

The Parasha in our everyday life - Pinchas - 5782

Rabbi Eliezer Shenvald - Rosh Yeshivat Hesder 'Meir Harel' Modi'in

The family is the 'basic molecule' of the society and the nation. Its resilience depends on the resilience of the family. The choice of spouses to institutionalize the bond between them and establish a family cell, to have children, has various motives: a human mental need to have a loving and protective home, and to have continuity. A value-based, ideological, social, national understanding, for the continuous existence and to pass on the tradition and heritage of the nation to future generations. Each society formulated for itself 'ceremonies' accordingly, designed to express the institutionalization of the marital relationship and its transformation into a family. Moral standards were also derived from the family framework as an 'alliance' with loyalty and mutual commitment between the spouses. As a result, the legal format of the family framework came into existence, the spouses' ownership of the family property, the link of the descendants to their parents and the rights of inheritance.

In Judaism, the family institution has risen to another level. The establishment of the family is a Mitzvah, performed with a ‘chuppah & Kiddushin':

קֹדֶם מַתַּן תּוֹרָה הָיָה אָדָם פּוֹגֵעַ אִשָּׁה בַּשּׁוּק אִם רָצָה הוּא וְהִיא לִשָּׂא אוֹתָהּ מַכְנִיסָהּ לְתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ וּבוֹעֲלָהּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ וְתִהְיֶה לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה. כֵּיוָן שֶׁנִּתְּנָה תּוֹרָה נִצְטַוּוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאִם יִרְצֶה הָאִישׁ לִשָּׂא אִשָּׁה יִקְנֶה אוֹתָהּ תְּחִלָּה בִּפְנֵי עֵדִים וְאַחַר כָּךְ תִּהְיֶה לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה … וְלִקּוּחִין אֵלּוּ מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל תּוֹרָה הֵם”…

“Before the giving of the Torah, it would be that if a man happened upon a woman in the marketplace and they wanted to marry each other, he would bring her into his house and consummate the marriage between them privately, and she would be his wife. Once the Torah was given, Israel was commanded that if a man wanted to marry a woman, he would acquire her first through witnesses, and afterwards she would be his wife…  And taking a wife as such is a positive commandment of the Torah…” (Rambam Mishneh Torah Marriage 1:1-2)

It is not for nothing that the establishment of the family is called 'Kiddushin'.

The following Bracha is recited:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו, וְצִוָּנוּ עַל הָעֲרָיוֹת, וְאָסַר לָנוּ אֶת הָאֲרוּסוֹת, וְהִתִּיר לָנוּ אֶת הַנְּשׂוּאוֹת עַל יְדֵי חוּפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין…בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְקַדֵּשׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל עַל יְדֵי חוּפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין״.

“Blessed are You…Who sanctified us through His mitzvot, and commanded us concerning the forbidden relatives, and prohibited to us those women who are betrothed, and permitted to us those women who are married by means of the wedding canopy and betrothal… Blessed are You, Hashem, Who sanctifies Israel by means of the wedding canopy and betrothal.” (Ketubot 7b)

In the family and in the Jewish relationship there is a third element, divine, metaphysical

אִישׁ וְאִשָּׁה זָכוּ שְׁכִינָה בֵּינֵיהֶן לֹא זָכוּ אֵשׁ אוֹכַלְתָּן

“If a man [ish] and woman [isha] merit reward through a faithful marriage, the Divine Presence rests between them. The words ish and isha are almost identical; the difference between them is the middle letter yod in ish, and the final letter heh in isha. These two letters can be joined to form the name of God spelled yod, heh. But if due to licentiousness they do not merit reward, the Divine Presence departs, leaving in each word only the letters alef and shin, which spell esh, fire. Therefore, fire consumes them.” (Sotah 17a:15)

This has many implications for the unique format of the Jewish family, which is revealed, among other things, in the Tractate Ketubot, which we just started learning in the daily page, (Daf Yomi).

Preserving the framework of the Jewish family throughout the generations, as one of the most powerful frameworks in the world, is one of the reasons for the extraordinary survival of the Jewish people, and the preservation of its heritage, despite the hardships it has gone through.

In the postmodern era, the progressive radical approach marked the institution of the family as a strategic goal. As part of the power theory that divides the world into 'oppressors' and 'oppressed', it has labeled the institution of the family as an 'oppressive framework', mainly of women and children. It seeks to dismantle the traditional framework of the family and challenge its necessity.

Throughout the generations the traditional framework of the family, and of the continuity of generations and the preservation of the culture and tradition of societies and nations, was based on spouses of the same nationality or religion, and opposed intermarriage. The radical progressive approach sees this as another kind of institutional 'suppression' of the feelings of the heart and free 'love'. And sees reservations about marriage because of different religious backgrounds or national differences as a form of racism.

In Judaism, there is a halachic prohibition on intermarriage, and in case the mother is not Jewish, her descendants are not either. Intermarriage interrupts the continuity and succession of the chain of generations and their connection to Judaism.

The beginning of our Parasha is a continuation of the previous one; the crisis of the sin of the daughters of Moab, an act of Zimri with Cozbi daughter of Zur; the Midianite, the zeal of Pinchas.

Zimri appealed to Moshe Rabbeinu against the prohibition of intermarriage in a demagogic and defiant manner:

תפשה בבלוריתה והביאה אצל משה אמר לו בן עמרם זו אסורה או מותרת ואם תאמר אסורה בת יתרו מי התירה לך…

“He seized her by her forelock and brought her before Moshe. Zimri said to Moshe: Son of Amram, is this woman forbidden or permitted? And if you say that she is forbidden, as for the daughter of Yitro to whom you are married, who permitted her to you?” (Sanhedrin 82a).

Defiant, because supposedly Moshe Rabbeinu himself is married in a mixed marriage to Tzipora, daughter of Yitro Priest of Midian.

And demagogic, because

משה קודם מתן תורה נשא וכשנתנה תורה כולן בני נח היו ונכנסו לכלל מצות והיא עמהם וגרים רבים של ערב רב:

"Moshe was married before the giving of the Torah, and after Matan Torah all the sons of Noah entered into all the Mitzvot ​​and she amongst them, and many converts from the mixed multitude" (Rashi ibid).

Moshe married Tzipora before Matan Torah. At this point everyone’s status was equal. The giving of Torah was a general status of receiving Mitzvot like conversion. Zimri asked to marry Cozbi without conversion.

His action sharpened the dramatic change that took place in the creation of the family unit in Israel after being present at Mount Sinai. By ‘wedding canopy and betrothal' specifically, and in the prohibition of intermarriage.

Reading our Parasha is an opportunity to strengthen awareness of the values ​​of the Jewish family, and raise the awareness of the seriousness of intermarriage.