Eshet Chayil *אֵשֶׁת חַיִל - “Woman of Valor” - the secret of victory
Parashat Hashavua - Shabbat Lech Lecha - and the war of the 'Iron Swords' 5785
Rabbi Eliezer Haim Shenvald
Praying for the IDF soldiers' success, to safeguard them lest any harm come to them, to the healing of all the wounded and the return of the abducted.
During this last war we learned important things about ourselves! A war in seven arenas at the same time, lasting over a year - like we never knew before. Among other things, we learned about the quality and unique contribution of the reserve units, which stand at the forefront of the battlefront. Without them, the IDF would not be able to cope with the scope of its tasks, subdue and win! Since the beginning of the war, the reserve units have been called up three or four times for long periods of service.
"Valor" means overcoming and dealing with difficulty, and not just against an enemy on the battlefield. From my commanders I learned many lessons on bravery and resilience in the different wars and operational activities in which I participated, but I learned more from my soldiers and my students, and most of all - from the bravery of the women staying at home, on the home front.
When we praise the contribution and heroism of the reservists and fighters, it is our duty to mention the valor of the fighters’ mothers, wives and the wives of the permanent personnel – professional soldiers, who support their sons and husbands. When the fighters are in operational activities, they are vigilant and concentrated on the mission, which causes them to forget the fear and anxiety. On the other hand, those who are left behind, at home, in uncertainty and vigilant anticipation, are dealing with tensions and a high mental burden.
The heroism of the women at home, in the home front, is not covered (by the media) and is very much hidden. The ‘women of valor’ who stay for long periods of time alone with the children, when in some cases these are large families, carry the entire burden of keeping the house, educating and raising the children on their own. It's a double challenge as the children worry and are stressed as well and need reinforcement. Some of them are also from areas where from time to time they have to run alone carrying the children to shelters. Among them are pregnant women, and women who gave birth when the husband was in combat, and they are alone. Women who at the same time also manage the family business. Above all, their bravery is admirable in dealing with their concern for their partner. A stranger cannot understand the fear of someone 'knocking at the door' and the sleepless nights. Appreciation for the strong 'military wives' who do not break despite the difficulty and do not transmit distress to their husbands. Rather, they support them and allow them to concentrate on the task and mission of winning the war. Those who see it as being partners in the mission and are proud of it. The "Yiddishe Mame" became "a valiant woman" – this is the secret of victory.
The war has claimed so many victims, precious wonderful heroes in their lives and deaths. Time after time we accompanied them on their last journey. In front of their silent coffins, we listened to the eulogies of their grieving families: the parents, the wives, brothers, sons and daughters, grandparents. Painful, instructive, chilling and empowering lessons about the heroism of the family members who lost the most precious gift of all. Situations that revealed to the public the hidden heroines - the brave wives who lost their husbands, who stood like solid rocks, strong, strengthening, proud of their husbands' mission, full of faith and hope. This is a living lesson for all the people of Israel, about how the indescribable searing pain forges the ‘women of valor’ like iron, and how much we should all respect them for the heavy price they have paid defending the country.
The courage of the heroic women accompanies us throughout the generations:
דָּרֵשׁ רַב עַוִּירָא: בִּשְׂכַר נָשִׁים צִדְקָנִיּוֹת שֶׁהָיוּ בְּאוֹתוֹ הַדּוֹר נִגְאֲלוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִמִּצְרַיִם.
“Rav Avira taught: In the merit of the righteous women that were in that generation, the Jewish people were redeemed from Egypt.” (Sotah 11b:4)
ועל העתיד אמרו: "אין הדורות נגאלים אלא בזכות נשים צדקניות שבדור" (מדרש זוטא רות ד, יא).
Concerning the future, the Sages say, “Generations are only redeemed in the merit of its righteous women” (Midrash Zuta, Ruth 4:11).
In the coming Parashot we will learn about Abraham Avinu, the nation’s father, and Sarah Imenu, the nation’s mother. About their travels, the journey of generations to establish the nation of Israel in the Land of Israel, and about their dealing with challenges and trials. Although in an unconcealed manner, the scripture focuses on Abraham, but in reality, Sarah leads the decision-making at the crucial crossroads. One of the examples of this is the fateful decision in the dispute about how to deal with Ishmael and Hagar:
וַיֹּאמֶר אֱלֹקים אֶל אַבְרָהָם אַל יֵרַע בְּעֵינֶיךָ עַל הַנַּעַר וְעַל אֲמָתֶךָ כֹּל אֲשֶׁר תֹּאמַר אֵלֶיךָ שָׂרָה שְׁמַע בְּקֹלָהּ ...
“G-d said to Abraham, "Do not be troubled regarding the boy and your handmaid. All that Sarah says to you, listen to her voice…” (Bereshit 21:12).
מִכָּאן אַתָּה לָמֵד שֶׁהָיָה אַבְרָהָם טָפֵל לְשָׂרָה בִּנְבִיאוּת.
“From here you learn that Abraham was subordinate to Sarah in prophecy”. (Tanhuma Shmot 1).
Elsewhere we showed that throughout the Jewish history, which is reflected in the Bible, at all critical junctures in the future of the people of Israel there stood a "woman of valor" - a female figure who influenced the fateful decision, even if she was behind the scenes.
According to our Sages, it is stated elsewhere in reference to this verse: A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband (Prov. 31). This verse alludes to Abraham's eulogy for Sarah… Abraham began to weep for her, saying: A woman of valor who can find?
We usually sing it to our wives every Shabbat (in Midrash Mishlei the chapter is a song of praise for all the women of the Bible). During times of war, the verses take on a powerful meaning:
אֵשֶׁת חַיִל מִי יִמְצָא...
“A valiant woman, who can find"…
בָּטַח בָּהּ לֵב בַּעְלָהּ וְשָׁלָל לֹא יֶחְסָר
"The heart of her husband trusts in her. He shall have no lack of gain"
(Proverbs 31:11).
בטח. כשאין האיש בביתו יבטח בה שתשמור כל אשר בבית ובמקום שהוא שם לא יחסר מלשלול שלל כי לא יהיה נבהל וממהר לביתו מפחד חסרון מה בבית:
"Trust - when the man is not at home, he will trust her to keep everything in the house, and wherever he is, he will lack no gain, because he will not be frightened and rush home for fear of missing something in the house" (Metsudat David ibid.)
A “woman of valor", who is עֹז וְהָדָר לְבוּשָׁהּ ‘clothed in strength and dignity’, who accompanies and supports her sons and her husband going into battle for the defense of the nation. Especially the one who bereavement and grief came knocking on her door, and whose beloved did not return from the battle, and these will no longer be:
קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ וַיְאַשְּׁרוּהָ Her children rise up and call her blessed.
בַּעְלָהּ וַיְהַלְלָהּHer husband also praises her.
She is the secret of our victory and the whole nation should respect and admire her and say:
רַבּוֹת בָּנוֹת עָשׂוּ חָיִל וְאַתְּ עָלִית עַל כֻּלָּנָה
"Many women do noble things, but you excel them all", with faith, bravery, resilience and hope. And for that:
תְּנוּ לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיהָ
Give her of the fruit of her hands! Let her works praise her in the gates! (Ibid)
*Eshet Chayil (pronounced aish-et chai-eel or eishes chayil) is generally translated as “Woman of Valor.” It's a portion from the Book of Proverbs (31:10–31) that is traditionally sung before the Friday night Shabbat meal.