The family model is under cultural attack

The Parasha in our everyday life - Vayechi 5782

Rabbi Eliezer Shenvald - Rosh Yeshivat Hesder 'Meir Harel' Modi'in

Recently I had the opportunity to hear in the media an interview with some people who define themselves as “voluntary childless”- in principle do not want to have children and raise them. One of them explained to the interviewer that he was not willing to give up personal comfort and ‘quality of life’ for demanding child rearing. The interviewer echoed the explanation without finding it appropriate to confront him with the question of how because of egoism was he willing to prevent life in the world, and had it not been for 'parenthood' he himself would not have come into the world. He delivered an 'ideological' speech about the 'ecological crisis' in the world, bringing it to the brink of existential danger, due to gas emissions and the waste creation every person produces. As a fighter for the protection of ecology, he joined the effort to reduce the world's population, by avoiding the birth of more people! No less and no more! Here, too, the interviewer was not moved and did not find it appropriate to make it difficult for the interviewee, and ask the question: Will this approach not bring humanity to extinction?! Or people like him will be a minority in the world and those for whom ecology is not important will rule the world. Postmodernism at its best (or worse).

Years ago, radical postmodernism marked the traditional family model as the target for cultural attack. It might seem, that the oldest and most important institution of human existence and stability, has a factor that challenges its perception. From time to time, however, it goes more and more to the edge. There is a feeling that the human value compass of the postmodern age is having a hard time keeping up with the reality's magnetism, and its magnetized needle is getting closer and closer in the opposite direction, where the right is false, and the wrong is true.

The Torah teaches us about the importance of the family unit as the basic molecule of society. As a framework in which, the process of building the future generation under the leadership of the father and mother takes place. Where the spiritual, moral and value characters are shaped, alongside with personality building and training for life's challenges.

The Parashot that seal the book of Bereshit deal with the history of Yaacov's family, its reunification after their descent into Egypt. This is the founding family of the Jewish people.

In the previous Parasha, the Torah enumerates the family members on their descent into Egypt, each one building a ‘family’ of his own. (Bereshit 46:8). In our Parasha, Yaakov Avinu 'gathers' his sons around his deathbed, as one family of household heads (Bereishit 49:1). At this point Yaacov blesses each of them with a special blessing.

At the end of the blessings, the Torah refers to the "family" as "tribes" for the first time:

כׇּל־אֵ֛לֶּה שִׁבְטֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל שְׁנֵ֣ים עָשָׂ֑ר ...

"All these were the tribes of Israel, twelve in number..." (Bereshit 49:28).

(Beforehand the only one referred to as tribe was Dan:

דָּ֖ן יָדִ֣ין עַמּ֑וֹ כְּאַחַ֖ד שִׁבְטֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃

"Dan shall govern his people, as one of the tribes of Israel". (Ibid 16)

In the special blessings for each of his sons, Yaakov changes their status from "heads of families" to "tribes":

כיון שבירך כל אחד ואחד כפי צרכו, עשה אותן שבטים, שנאמר ‘‘כל אלה שבטי ישראל.‘‘

"Because he blessed each and every one as they needed, he made them tribes, saying, "All these are the tribes of Israel." (Midrash Agadah)

In our Parasha, the tribes gather together at his bedside and become a nation of 'tribes': "The end of a Dvar Torah has a special value. Sefer Bereshit's essence is Maaseh Avot Siman Lebanim - The events that transpire with the forefathers is an omen for the children… Yaakov Avinu is called "The Forefathers' chosen",

with him, the purpose, the goal, the objective, the end of the "patriarchy" begins to unfold. He is not just a private personality but a transition and the beginning of public multiplication … Out of all this disintegration comes the association in Parashat Vayechi.  הִקָּבְצ֥וּ 'Assemble'… A meeting on the הָעִנְיָן הַנּוֹרָא וְהַנִּשְׂגָּב 'awe-inspiring and sublime'  of the all-Israeli value that appears at the end of the Sefer, after all the preparations of our first patriarchs". (Sichot of the late Rav Zvi Yehuda Kook, Vayechi 5727-1966).

The building of the nation from a family is likened to a tree: "And after the scripture completed the words of the old man regarding his sons, said:

“All these are the tribes of Israel, twelve in number…” Here they were all the tribes of Israel, tribes descending from the same esteemed trunk and all had good deeds. And so, he called them tribes, for Yaacov and his sons were compared to a tree whose roots are one but many branches grow from it. And the "bough" is called "tribe" (in Hebrew "שבט" is "branch"(. And every “bough” will branch into 'twigs' and these are the families, and every twig will have lots of leaves and they are the family members. And as in nature, if the tree’s roots are good - all the boughs and branches and leaves raising out of it are good. The same is true with Yaacov: He was a good root and his sons (tribes-branches) are righteous and good tribes”. (Abarbanel ibid)

As the parable of the tree, the 'root' affects the entire tree, and vice versa: the boughs, the branches and leaves, are what make up the scenery of the whole tree. Families are the fundamental component of the tribes and tribes of the entire nation. This is how the Israeli nation was founded, and this is its pattern ever since. The family is the basic molecule of the nation. In it, the passing on the nation’s values and tradition are processed from generation-to-generation וְשִׁנַּנְתָּ֣ם לְבָנֶ֔יךָ" “Veshinantam Levanecha” – “You should teach these words to your children.”

The character and resilience of the whole nation depends on the resilience of the family.

We must establish its status and come to its defense.