Integration, not at the cost of identity loss
Parasha in our everyday life - Vayishlach - 5782
Rabbi Eliezer Shenvald - Rosh Yeshivat Hesder 'Meir Harel' Modi'in
About a week and a half ago, President Yitzhak Herzog addressed the Education Conference of Yeshivot Bnei Akiva and "Makor Rishon". In his remarks, he brought up the Chief Rabbi of Israel, the late Rabbi Yitzchak Isaac Herzog Z'L, who, according to him, demanded religious Zionism not to give up integration into Israeli society and the employment space, without giving up strengthening national religious self-identity. Not only to integrate but also to take in leadership and influence positions: "At my Grandfather's... I learned about the importance of strengthening Jewish and religious identity and taking pride in this identity. At the same time, Rabbi Herzog always emphasized the importance of stepping out of our comfort zone, the understanding that meeting the other - in identity, position, and opinion - is the basis not only for cooperation but also for deepening and strengthening identity, etc." The president found it appropriate to criticize the current national-religious public and its education system that does not operate in this spirit: "Unfortunately, there is often a feeling that over the years, the state religious education has surrounded itself with fences…"
"The Yeshivot and the Ulpenot are also surrounded - physically and metaphorically - by fences that protect their occupants, from certain contents, from certain identities, and even, if you allow me - from complexities, since the Israeli society is complex and diverse, etc."
Needless to say, I do not accept the criticism, not only because it ignores the enormous efforts that the Religious Zionism constantly makes to integrate, despite everything, and to be a partner, to deal with complexities, certainly after comparing to the simplicity and shallowness that unfortunately pervades some of society and culture, but because his critique ignores those vociferous voices that whenever there are integration efforts while maintaining identity, they warn of ‘religionization’, ‘arrogance’, and other derogatory nicknames.
Part of Yaacov Avinu's heritage is the challenge of integration without losing self-identity. In the encounter with Eisav described in our Parasha, he testifies about himself:
עִם־לָבָ֣ן גַּ֔רְתִּי וָאֵחַ֖ר עַד־עָֽתָּה׃
"I stayed with Laban and remained until now" (Bereshit 32:5)
Our Sages explained:
גַּרְתִּי בְּגִימַטְרִיָּא תרי"ג, כְּלוֹמַר, עִם לָבָן גַּרְתִּי וְתַרְיַ"ג מִצְוֹת שָׁמַרְתִּי וְלֹא לָמַדְתִּי מִמַּעֲשָׂיו הָרָעִים:
"the word גרתי has the numerical value of 613 - תרי״ג - it is as much as to say, “Though I have sojourned with Laban, the wicked, I have observed the תרי״ג מצות, the 613 Divine Commandments, and I have not learned of his evil ways" (Rashi ibid)
During his stay at Laban's (the Aramean) and while establishing his family, he had to balance: between integrating into Laban's family, as a family member, and working collaboratively with the family in herding the flock, and between maintaining his identity and spiritual independence. Making a differentiation that will preserve his independence and not wear down his principles.
Later in the Parasha, a similar struggle is told when Yaakov arrives in Nablus.
וַיָּבֹא֩ יַעֲקֹ֨ב שָׁלֵ֜ם עִ֣יר שְׁכֶ֗ם אֲשֶׁר֙ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ כְּנַ֔עַן בְּבֹא֖וֹ מִפַּדַּ֣ן אֲרָ֑ם וַיִּ֖חַן אֶת־פְּנֵ֥י הָעִֽיר׃
"Yaacov arrived safely in the city of Shechem which is in the land of Canaan—having come thus from Paddan-Aram—and he encamped before the city". (Bereshit 33:18)
The 'camping' included integration with the people of the city:
״וַיָּבֹא יַעֲקֹב שָׁלֵם״, וְאָמַר רַב: שָׁלֵם בְּגוּפוֹ, שָׁלֵם בְּמָמוֹנוֹ, שָׁלֵם בְּתוֹרָתוֹ. ״וַיִּחַן אֶת פְּנֵי הָעִיר״, אָמַר רַב: מַטְבֵּעַ תִּיקֵּן לָהֶם, וּשְׁמוּאֵל אָמַר: שְׁווֹקִים תִּיקֵּן לָהֶם, וְרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר: מֶרְחֲצָאוֹת תִּיקֵּן לָהֶם
"And Yaacov came whole, is: Whole in his body, whole in his money, whole in his Torah. And what did he do? And he graced the countenance of the city; he performed gracious acts to benefit the city. Rav said: Yaacov established a currency for them. And Shmuel said: He established marketplaces for them. And Rabbi Yoḥanan said: He established bathhouses for them". (Shabbat 33b)
And some interpreted that as cohabitation:
שלא חנה שם כמו בסכות, ששכן במקום בפ"ע נבדל מן העיר ואנשיה, כי פה חנה לפני העיר מתערב עם אנשי העיר, כי קבע דירתו שם
"He did not camp there like in Sukkot, where he dwelt separated from the city and its people, here he camped before the city intervening with the people of the city because he established his dwelling there". (Malbim ibid).
And some disagree and believe that despite the partnership, it is necessary to separate places of residence to differentiate and maintain the identity:
לפי הפשט. לא נכנס לדור בעיר אלא חנה בחוץ לעיר ונקרא פני העיר והוא כמדתו של יעקב להיות בדד ולא מעורב עם אוה״ע.
"As the literal explanation. He did not enter to live in the city, but stayed outside the city and Yaakov, was alone and not involved with the nations of the world". (Haamek Davar ibid).
This is a complex issue because cohabitation has an impact:
דרך ברייתו של אדם להיות נמשך בדעותיו ובמעשיו אחר ריעיו וחביריו ונוהג כמנהג אנשי מדינתו...
"It is a natural tendency of man to be influenced in his ideas and conduct by his fellows and associates and to follow the usage of the people of his state..." (Rambam - Mishneh Torah Human Dispositions 6:1)
But there it had a terrible 'price'. The 'friction' with the people of Nablus caused the case with Dinah:
שהיתה בתו של יעקב יושבת אוהלים ולא היתה יוצאה לחוץ מה עשה שכם בן חמור הביא נערות משחקות חוצה לו מתופפות ויצאה דינה לראות בבנות הארץ המשחקות ושללה ושכב עמה...
"Because the daughter of Yaacov was abiding in the tents, and she did not go into the street; what did Shechem, the son of Chamor, do? He brought dancing girls who were (also) playing on pipes in the streets. Dinah went forth to see those girls who were making merry, and he seized her, and he slept with her…" (Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer 38:1)
Integration cannot be given up, despite the complexity, but everything must be done to preserve one's self-identity so as not to wear it down.